With self-respect as your guidepost, many relationship dilemmas, crossroads, emotional hurt, sadness and anguish, are either avoidable, shorter lived, and will definitely feel less overwhelming.
A major part of self-respect means instead of agreeing with someone’s persuasiveness and doubting our inner voice, we recognize our true entitlement to be and feel who we are, and to have unique viewpoints.
If someone criticizes or dismisses your views, then tries to convince you to accept theirs instead of discussing each person’s opinion, there’s a strong possibility this person is not respecting you.
If you agree to silence your thoughts which differ from the other person and not speak them, then you’d be both disrespecting yourself and to some degree, disrespecting the other person by masking your true feelings and pretending agreement you don’t genuinely believe.
Since none of us consciously intend to disrespect ourselves, why do we silence thoughts of our true feelings and understanding?
To start with, many of us grew up in families I which many members often were plainly not interested in our opinions on most matters.
The relationship patterns which result from a family dynamic of expecting to not be heard or taken seriously, feels familiar.
Anyone who approaches us this way in our grown lives is continuing the way we assume is a natural way to interact with others.
The most common way someone awakens to the dissonance of being dismissed, ignored, not taken seriously, expected to always accept what a meaningful person says to them, is when tension and clashes rise to nearly unbearable.
Suddenly the person who has always gone along in silence, finds they no longer can continue this.
This is their self-respect brightening so strongly it cannot be ignored!
New choices suddenly show in the person’s heart and mind which start to feel necessary to live upon.
Previous attitudes dissolve.
“I don’t want to be treated this way” grows potency and motivates us to state our true points effectively from newly erupted self-respect.