“Relationships are like rose bushes. When you are wounded by a thorn, decide if it is worthwhile as you remember the fragrance of the rose.” Julia Scalise DN PhD
Relationships are not easy. Whether they are romantic partnerships, familial, friendships, or professional, there is always the potential to become wounded in any emotionally connected dynamic. But only you can determine if the “wound of a thorn” is a scratch that can be overcome or one that will never heal.
If you did not have feelings for someone it would be difficult to emotionally be wounded by them. If you did not have an expectation from a professional alliance, it would be difficult to be disappointed in a negative outcome.
Whether the wound is a betrayal of trust, feeling of abandonment, lack of appreciation, lack of respect, being ostracized, bullied, physically or emotionally abused, used and discarded, or just slighted through misunderstandings by both parties, only YOU can decide if it is worth it to overlook the reason or end the relationship because of it.
Only YOU can decide if the circumstance or event is a speed bump or a closed road with no chance of ever re-opening. Only YOU can decide if the relationship more often than not is a positive or negative for you and how it impacts your life and your emotional peace.
The type of relationship, whether personal or professional, matters. It may be easier to walk away from a professional relationship if you realize that the deal originally offered is no longer fragrant enough to justify the thorns than it is to walk away from a marriage. Likewise with other personal relationships, what is consistently happening may not be what was implied or intended at the outset. It is also easier to sever friendships of short duration and convenience versus those that have been a part of your life for longer periods. But again, only YOU can decide.
In addition to working with clients on aspects of their physical well-being, I also work with them on emotional well-being. Each person, situation and circumstance are different. It takes a lot of courage to realistically look at what is no longer emotionally healthy. Likewise, it takes a lot of self-introspection to understand if ego or personality are making more of what someone else may see as an annoyance versus a deal-breaker. But again, only YOU can decide. Never discount YOUR feelings and how someone’s behavior and actions impact YOU. YOUR feelings always have validity, even if only to you.
Valentine’s Day is here. But there are many more relationships other than romantic love relationships. And sometimes one must assess all those other relationships in their life in order to live their highest level of emotional well-being and peace.
So again I gently remind you to consider- is the wound of the thorn such that the remembrance of the fragrance of the rose is no longer nor will ever be sweet once more? Or is the wound just a scratch that, with time and understanding, will heal, and worth maintaining because the fragrance of THAT ROSE is so sweet?
Wishing you health, more roses than thorns in your relationship dynamics, and living your best life.