Time to Heal over Christmas Time

heal christmas

Time to Heal over Christmas Time

We’ve all heard the expression, “Time heals all wounds.” But time alone isn’t enough.

Sadly most of us have experienced traumatic “wounds.” It does take real clock time to adjust, but we don’t get to recovery’s other side by ourselves.

Friend, love, and boundless compassion collectively help us stay sane through our darkest days, months, years. Whatever it takes!

Some Time is Raw

My girlfriend unexpectedly lost her husband last June. Another friend underwent an amputation in May. He was accelerating beautifully through therapy only to be struck down by a devastating stroke in September.

On Christmas Day 2004, my daughter and I flew with my mother from Michigan to Atlanta to see her son. My brother Jerry was in the final leg of his heroic but futile battle with terminal cancer. He died just five days later on December 30th.

Only by divine intervention and prayers from our vast wealth of friends and acquaintances was Jerry conversational and his usual upbeat self on our Christmas visit. Ironically that night he slipped into a pre-death coma. I was beyond grateful that he had remained lucid for our mom.

Some Time is Healing

Our closest friends will be by our side through our darkest days and beyond. They’ll provide endless tissues, hugs, comfort foods, spirits, cards, chauffeuring, etc. for frinkin’ ever if necessary!

But casual friends and acquaintances in the periphery can be more powerful assets sometimes than our closest friends.

Visualize for a moment a pond of rippling concentric circles after a stone is tossed in. The center rings represent our closest friends who are there for us immediately and indefinitely when the worst happens.

But for me and many others, it was the people in those outer rings whose unexpected thoughtfulness made such a positive emotional impact.

Some Time is Made

Through my darkest months, I appreciated my friends unwavering support and wouldn’t be here today healthy and intact were it not for them! That said, I also knew they’d say almost anything to make me feel better to get me through another day.

But those that made time just for me are remarkable. It was the out-of-the-blue card from an a virtual stranger, the surprising, supportive letter from my distant aunt, the casual caring remark from the lawn service guy, that I remember so vividly after all these years.

Acknowledgements over time from people I knew of, not knew well, helped seal the fissures of my raw, emotional wounds.

This Christmas Time, Be That Person!

So this Christmas be that person, the one who consciously makes time to acknowledge someone else who’s hurting deeply and is very fragile. Your sister’s friend who’s grieving, the man in the mailroom whose child is sick, the neighbor of your vet who just buried her two best friends: her husband and her dog.

You might never know how powerful your thoughtfulness is to that person. But take it from someone who has walked through the fires of devastating recovery that those “little things” make a “big impact!”

Be that person!

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Elaine C.Pereira

About Elaine C.Pereira

Elaine retired in June 2010 as a school Occupational Therapist where she worked with special needs children. She lives in southeastern Michigan with her husband, Joe. Between them, they have five children — Joe has three sons and Elaine has twin daughters-and soon-to-be five grandchildren. Elaine has a Bachelor’s Degree and Master’s Degree in Occupational Therapy from Wayne State University. Elaine is the author of I Will Never Forget and she was inspired to tell her mother’s incredible story in part to help other caregivers coping with memory loss issues in their loved ones. I Will Never Forget

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